By Michael D. Zito, Ph.D.
As we venture into the Spring sports season, it is important to consider how best to support your child. As an experienced coach and Sport Psychologist, the effect of parental behavior upon athletes is evident. During the past 20 years, I have seen an increase in parental pressure placed upon athletes to perform. While helping your children achieve their potential, athletically and personally, some parents use a negative approach. The negative approach could include public criticism and intense emotional expression by a parent toward a child during the car ride home. These types of behaviors create performance anxiety in the child, which inhibits performance.
So what motivates parents to do this? Typically, in my experience, the pursuit of future college scholarships and selection to elite-status athletic teams is at the core. At times, in part, because this pursuit allows parents to live vicariously through their athlete’s achievements. According to the NCAA website, only about 5% of athletes continue their competitive participation in college, and only about 2.5% are eligible for athletic scholarships. It is important to note that even if an athlete achieves Division I participation, it does not always guarantee financial compensation.
Watch this video where youth athletes explain what they really want from their parents. Go to the ilovetowatchyouplay.com and search for the “kids tell us the truth about sports parents” video. The video message is clear: athletes want their parents simply to cheer them on.
So what should good sports parents do?
- Keep sports fun and focus on skill improvement, not winning.
- View sports as a way to develop healthy exercise habits, social skills and life skills.
- Refrain from shouting instructions or guidance during an athletic event, as it is distracting and often embarrassing to the athlete.
- Don’t micromanage your child’s performance; rather, let your child be coached by the coach, even if you don’t agree with the coach’s approach. This can develop valuable life skills.
- If you have problems managing your emotions as a parent, do not discuss the athletic event for 24 hours and avoid the car ride home conversation.
- Help children self-assess their performance and participate in a self-directed, goal-oriented improvement plan.
- Seek the services of a Sport Psychologist if you, as a parent, find it difficult to manage your emotions and/or your child is having performance challenges.
Michael D. Zito, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (#3599) with offices in Warren and Morristown. He practices clinical and sport psychology with children through adults and can be reached at MichaelZitoPhD@yahoo.com Dr. Zito welcomes your questions and ideas for future articles.
