By Michael D. Zito, Ph.D.
A recent study by the American Psychological Association indicated that 48 percent of parents feel entirely overwhelmed most days, compared with 26 percent of adults who are not parents. Money, schedules, insufficient sleep, work demands, managing their kid's electronics, and the overall demands of parenting were concerns. Their lifestyles promoted loneliness, stress and exhaustion. All of this made it difficult to provide for the emotional needs of their children. These factors are compounded by online comparisons of what other parents are doing leaving these parents to chase unrealistic parenting expectations.
It is essential to see parenting as key to promoting our children's mental and physical health. To do this, we need to utilize stress reduction processes, which will also help maintain our mental and physical health. Utilization of available resources, self-care, planning, and family time are critical areas of focus.
Resources
- Take full advantage of all flexible work arrangements to be more available for your children.
- Socialize with other parents to build relationships, share advice and support each other.
- Consider extended family and friends to share the logistical demands such as carpooling or strategic playdates that allow for errand completion.
- Hire a babysitter or consider childcare to manage your children while you tend to other things important to you.
- Use electronic methods to automatically control your child’s use of electronic devices.
- If one or more children are experiencing behavior management problems, seek parenting guidance from a psychologist who specializes in parenting. Often, learning how to parent your child best can reduce stress.
Self-Care
- Work through the guilt often associated with self-care. You will be better at child-rearing if you take care of yourself.
- Exercise regularly.
- Ensure you nurture your adult relationships.
- Learn how to say ‘no’ to unnecessary tasks.
Planning
- Have weekly parent planning meetings to organize the week’s logistic needs, including meals, transportation to/from activities, etc. If you think you don’t have time for this, consider how stressful it is to address these tasks ad-hoc, promoting crisis mode stress. Most clients who plan feel a reduction in stress levels.
- Keep your children active but resist the multiple sports season craziness. Sports promote life skills for most children. However, don’t get hooked on the professionalization of youth sports culture, which creates false hope of Div 1 scholarships and pro contracts by overscheduling activities.
- Have regular discussions about family finances and expense management and plan ahead accordingly to limit stress-inducing surprises.
Family Time
- Do family exercises such as biking, walking, and hiking.
- Plan family activities such as game or movie nights.
- Remember, parenting is one of the most challenging roles, and most of us have not been trained to do it. Do the best you can and seek help as needed.
Michael D. Zito, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist (#3599) with offices in Warren and Morristown. He practices clinical and sport psychology with children through adults and can be reached at MichaelZitoPhD@yahoo.com Dr. Zito welcomes your questions and ideas for future articles.
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